


The Silence of the Storm

by RyoWei247



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Angst, Attempted Murder, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Recovery, Relapse, Sign Language, and there's a poem?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:47:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24600019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyoWei247/pseuds/RyoWei247
Summary: After a failed performance Jhin seeks out the only girl to survive him and the only person to ever clear his morbid mind of his compulsions, the both of them seeking answers and finding something entirely different and new.
Relationships: Sona Buvelle/Khada Jhin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	The Silence of the Storm

There was always a certain stillness that fell over a theater when she performed. If not by design then by instinct. A hush swept back across the filled seats in a wave. The kind that caught your breath in your throat, that gave you butterflies, had the hairs on the back of your neck standing up on end, and ultimately rendered you and everyone around you utterly entranced.

Jhin would consider it all the punchline to a joke if it weren’t such a blatant insult to the artistry and craft of musical theater. The whole of the art world rested at her fingertips and she squandered it on something as pointless as this. Yet another sold out show for the high born and social elite…

Up on a left side balcony he sat on the railing and watched. That was all that was left to do. He’d made quick work of the couple sitting up here and with a fourth check over his equipment there was nothing left but to wait for the perfect moment. After so many years of watching this silly little girl waste the spotlight it was time to expose her for what she really was.

Jhin pulled his scope from under his robe, extending it and taking a look at how she continued to play her piece. It wouldn’t be long now. He knew every song in her collection and this one signaled the steady but intense incline towards the climax of her performance. He collapsed the scope and returned it to its place on his side before he got out Whisper and adjusted the equipment on his shoulder.

Time was up for this little butterfly. Even the most prolific of performers had to know when to give it up and she had more than enough of a run for his taste. Staring down the sights Jhin had her throat in his crosshairs, his breathing slowed, his heart rate, for the moment, subdued. Just a few more notes…

But as the girl hit what he knew as the climax of her performance her gaze lifted from her instrument to the balcony, her eyes staring down the shadowed barrel of his gun and he knew through the sinking pit in his abdomen that she had seen him, seen her death pointed straight at her and then turned away, back to her instrument and her audience.

Cold sweat formed on the back of Jhin’s neck under the mask. She knew. No, no, no, no! He did not allow acceptance in his work. There was no drama, no artistry, in the peace of acceptance! Jhin undid the attachment to his gun and tossed it aside, making for the hallway and rushing down the stairs, taking out any guard or employee of the theater in his way before he stood staring her down stage left.

ONE.

TWO.

THREE.

Two stage hands that rushed to stop him and then a light over her head, all were shot in succession, sending a new sound waving through the crowd, screams and shrieks echoed up to the lofty ceiling as people watched in paralyzed horror when Jhin strode out on stage, walking to girl’s side and pointing his gun point blank at her neck.

“You will not sway me, Sona. I am beyond your powers, you understand? And I will show every single one of your victims just what you are before I put this bullet in your defective throat.”

Finally she looked up to meet him, gave him the courtesy of acknowledgement, and again she turned away, going back to her instrument and plucking at a few strings, and then more.

It should have ended at the very first note. Perhaps he had even begun to squeeze the trigger, but by the second, under the mask Jhin’s mouth parted, his arm, extended, began to tremble, then his whole body. A sharp and deep pain in his chest was nearly enough to make him double over. And the worst part was, this was not just magic. The song she played was one he knew, but not one he’d ever known her to play. This was a song of home, a word that had had little to do with him in a very long time. But he could hear it, see it even, his mother sitting with him by a fire, pulling similar strings, soft words he’d long forgotten leaving her lips while he drifted to sleep. This was a folk song of Zhyun, specifically the lower peninsula, a song that no one on the outside would ever know.

The gun fired a forth and pointless shot to the ceiling and slowly the gun lowered. The hush once again over the crowd. And with it Jhin turned on his heels and left.

* * *

The moment the Golden Demon disappeared beyond the stage guards flocked to Sona, and escorted her away, bringing her first to a small room, and after the building was announced clear, to her home.

Sona stared down her closed bedroom door, two of her guards behind her, looking to follow. She turned, signing to them. “Thank you for escorting me. I believe I will be safe here. Please feel free to return to your duties.”

The men hesitated a moment before nodding. “As you wish my lady,” they said and bowed their heads before walking back down the hall. Once they had gone Sona placed her hand on the handle of one of the doors and stepped inside, closing it quietly behind her and turning back around. Sure enough, he sat there facing out the balcony on the bench before it. The white curtains flowed with the wind around him, the only sound the clinking of the Ionian wind chimes she had strung up in the corner.

At the sound of her footsteps Khada Jhin’s head turned up. “Are you surprised I know where you live Sona Buvelle?” he asked, before answering his own question with a light laugh. “No, I can’t imagine you are. Did you know I was in here?”

Sona approached a few more steps as he spoke. Finally he faced her, the smile carved into his mask not matching the melancholy in his voice. She nodded, slowly. She knew. Sona had felt him watching her for sixteen days. Nothing he knew would likely surprise her.

The demon gave an amused hum. “Smart girl. Are you going to go call your guards back now?”

She shook her head.

“That choice may prove foolish,” he said, turning back towards the open balcony door and looking up at the wind chimes. “You’re from Jinse, in Zhyun, aren’t you?”

Sona walked around the other side of the lounging chair and sat on the opposite end, nodding, starting to sign and then catching herself.

Jhin’s eye fell to the side, catching her movement and responding with signs of his own. _“I can speak Ionian sign form my dear. And Demacian for that matter. Go on.”_

She started again. _“I was in the orphanage until I was 12. Mother adopted me just before my thirteenth birthday,”_

He chuckled, gaze fixed back up at the wind chimes. “Somehow I never guessed that bit. I knew you were Ionian but where exactly was never something I could seem to track down. Pitiful that I pride myself on doing such thorough research before even the rehearsal and that detail escaped me. Though you don't exactly look the part do you?” He sighed again.

An air of quiet settled around them for a few minutes. Sona kept her hands locked on her lap, squeezing tightly. The Golden Demon of Ionia sat next to her in her room and she was nervous, yes, but even when he held her at gunpoint just a short while ago she couldn’t say she was all that afraid. She bit her lip lightly as she lifted her hands once more to sign. _“Why didn’t you kill me?”_

Jhin watched her movements and for a moment didn’t respond, tilting his head from one side to the other before answering. “You did exactly what I knew you would do, Sona. Isn’t it funny that such an innocent looking face could be capable of such a thing as brainwashing and ridding me of nearly all my compulsions in just a few simple notes? My, what the fine people of this city would do with you if they knew.” The demon reached suddenly for her, and despite his harsh words his touch was unexpectedly gentle when his fingers and the black cloth of his glove touched to her cheek.

She couldn’t fight the subtle lean to his touch. How strange he was up close. All the cruel words of his letters that he’d sent over years, the arrogance and confidence stripped away and he sat here almost soft. She could hardly believe it was the same man if not for the etched face he wore over his own. _“You’re unwell…”_

The laugh was a little deeper this time as he tucked a strand of hair or two behind her ear and pulled his hand away. “You’re not the first to say so. But I’m afraid you most certainly are the first to have any affect.”

_“Does it ever stop?”_

“Hmph,” he mused “From time to time I suppose. Though that usually comes when I've been isolated from anything that might be considered intelligent for longer than most would consider wise. As you might imagine it's a lot less frequent in these times.”

Sona closed the gap between them just a bit, an action that surely did not go unnoticed by the man beside her, but he said nothing to it. Instead keeping his attention outwards towards the bay, his gaze only returning when she signed again. “ _Can I get you anything? I have some iced tea.”_

That made him laugh, though still not without the slight edge of condescension in his voice. “No, my dear, I'm quite alright. Though if you are trying to get a look at my face I might recommend the direct approach. It will get you farther.”

“ _Can I_?” She signed eagerly, perhaps too much so. 

Jhin hummed in response, turning to face her. “Curiosity kills cats, Miss Buvelle...” he said, reaching and touching his hand to the mask and then sighing. “But I suppose I should offer you something in reward for doing what monks, doctors, drugs and torture could not.” The demon leaned forward. “Go on then…”

Sona hesitated, her hands hovering around the edges and then gently touching the smooth ivory surface, running her fingers along the delicate designs that made up this face before she loosened it and pulled it free. Underneath lay just another false face of dark eel skin, the only opening being his left eye. Again she traced along the surface. Jhin’s eye closed, a slight gasp coming from the mouth that she still couldn't see. He started shaking. Under her fingertips he trembled and took harsh deep breathes. 

“Please…” he whispered, urging her along. Sona bit the inside of her lip and reached at the base of the collar of his shirt, finding the edge and lifting, all at once revealing the face of Khada Jhin. A sharp twist in her chest had her mouth hanging open. Beneath the mask was the face of a middle aged man. And yet…her fingers ran gently now over his tanned skin. His features were striking to say the least. The sharp cheekbones, swept back pitch black hair, defined jaw and goatee made him quite the handsome man. 

Her hand brushed again along his cheek before she signed with one hand. “ _I like this mask better_.”

He laughed quietly this time, his hand gripping the fabric of the chair under them. “Must you find beauty in everything?”

She frowned, her hands going to his chin and lifting it to her. Jhin’s eyes rose back to her face, his irises finishing a slow fade from red to a hazy blue. She shook her head. “ _I’m only looking at you.”_

“Oh? And just what in this face is there to find beauty in?” 

“ _Shall I write you a poem about how pretty you are_?” She smiled.

That was enough to get the first genuine laugh out of him. “Why yes, I’m dying to hear it, my dear.”

Sona signed then “ _Roses are red Violets are also red, wait I cut myself on the golden demon’s cheek bones, never mind_.” 

Jhin burst into a fit of laughter. “That is by far the worst poem I've ever heard. I take it all back, stick to music, I beg you,” he said, wiping tears out of his eyes and looking back to her, reaching again for her face with that gentle touch of his. His knuckles ran down her cheek, fingers then going to brush more of her hair out of her face. “Why couldn’t I see how lovely you are before now, my dear? I don't understand how what I see is so wrong.”

“ _You're unwell...but it’s alright. Now you can see me can't you_?” She asked scooting closer again. Jhin leaned in, his forehead nearly touching to her, staring at her eyes. 

“Yes, but I--” he caught himself, his words stumbling. His breathing sounded fast, she could feel it against her own face and she wasn't fairing much better, breath quickening, heart rate climbing. “Forgive me, but how do I know this isn’t a trick?.”

“ _Trust me_ ,” she held onto the fabric of his shirt, bunching it between her fingers. “ _I can help you_.” 

“No, Sona, please, no more of your magic, I'm begging you. This is already so painful. I should not have come here,” he pleaded as more and more space closed between them. 

“ _I'm not doing this…_ ” 

Jhin’s eyes closed then, his own hands holding her to him now, his right hand working into her hair while the other hugged her waist, their breathing sharp with the quickly disappearing distance. “Then why can't I stop?” 

The question went unanswered by both of them, the next breath used by their lips meeting and immediately unraveling into a kiss that had Sona pinned to the cushions of the chair. She held him there, kissing him back with every bit of desperation she could feel in him. 

“Sona,” he sighed, only able to pull back for a moment “Why are we doing this?” 

She shook her head, her chest heaving up and down. With a forceful tug she pulled him back in as they struggled to find comfort on the cramped chair. Truly she had no answers. This wasn't what she had wanted from him. She wanted a ‘ _why_ ’, she wanted to ease the pain she could feel in him, make the ache in her own chest stop, but now? It was only another moment or two before they were on the floor, sharp little squeaks that substituted for gasps coming from Sona lips as Jhin covered her neck and shoulders in kisses. 

“Sona,” he moaned her name against her skin. “You're beautiful.” 

She couldn't fight the smile on her face when he said that. Thousands upon thousands said as much but they meant nothing compared to a man that hated her with all his heart. “Jhin,” she signed, in an instant knowing how she wanted his name. A quick and gentle sweep down her face. “Jhin, my bed, there is better,” 

He stared for a moment but didn't question her, hoisting her up into his arms and bringing them to her bed, falling instantly into the sheets where they resumed their kisses. Sona reached for his shirt, tugging it open with little success until he pulled back and finished it for her, her hands going instead to the rope holding up his pants. All of it was tossed aside in favor of his bare skin, a decision they didn't bother debating when it came to Sona's dress either. Jhin undid the few buttons keeping her secured in the back and it was thrown with the rest, both of them stopping then to look. The warm pit in Sona’s stomach spread up through her chest and down her legs just looking at him. He was so handsome, so pretty and with every new kiss he pressed to her body he said the same. 

“Darling,” he panted, his body on hers, rocking gently. “I've never…”

She answered first only by shaking her head before signing “ _Me neither_.” 

Jhin took one of her hands, lacing his fingers with hers, nodding, neither wasting another word before he pressed into her, their eyes locking shut. Sona gripped the sheets under her with her free hand. It hurt. Just a little. But enough to make her let go of his hand and the bed in favor of throwing her arms and legs around him, holding tight, a raspy squeak leaving her throat like a moan “I'm sorry dearest,” he said, coming to a stop. “Does it hurt?”

Her answer was to shake her head and bring them back into the kiss before he started moving. It was slow at first, bringing squeaks and chirps out of her with every thrust, her expression softening as the pain faded. “More,” she begged him, signing it again and again until he caught it and picked up the pace, thrusting into her at the steady but barely noticeable pace of four. 

It was in everything he did. In his breaths, his thrusts, the kisses on her neck and face, she could feel it. Sona took it up too, tapping out four on his shoulder to meet his other counts and watched utter euphoria wash across his face. 

“Sona, Sona, Sona, oh Sona, my darling, yes, just like that. Do it more!” He begged her, speeding up bit by bit until they were both nothing but the sound of their bodies meeting. She could feel him barely able to control his pace, thrusting hard and fast. “Sona, dearest, I'm close!” he warned. 

Sona held him tighter, her own finish in sight and then all at once with an especially hard slam into her. The girl’s head threw back as she came, squeezing him to his own climax in a sudden burst, his voice calling her name in one last repetition before he collapsed in her arms.

“Darling,” he whispered, leaving a breathless kiss on the side of her head. Sona was the one to nudge his face back to hers, their foreheads and noses touching while their lips met again, a smile on both of their faces

* * *

When they settled Jhin laid beside her, taking one of her hands and stroking along her knuckles in fours. He’d pulled her hair loose when they undressed leaving a cascade of blue waves along her skin, catching the orange light of the sunset like water. She was such a beautiful girl. It made his heart ache. He squeezed her hand tighter. 

Sona's after-glowing smile only brightened. Her hand swept down her face before forming a sentence “ _It’s alright. I am here with you_.” 

He blinked and mimicked the first movement. “Forgive me, I’m not familiar with that one.”

The silent rise and fall of her shoulder and chest passed for her form of a giggle. She repeated the sign again, this time pressing her finger to his chest afterwards. “ _You_.”

Jhin blinked again. “Me?” He said before it clicked. “Oh yes, the mask. That would make sense.”

The girl shook her head and repeated the sign. “ _When you take it off_.”

He felt his mouth part and could only stare for a moment. His cheeks suddenly felt warm. Jhin was the mask, the carved ivory wielding only death in his hands with a fine touch. He had never wanted it to be anything else, until now. “Oh my sweet girl…” he whispered, pulling her back into his arms to hold her close. She was all too happy to snuggle up to him, leaving a small kiss against his chest. A moment or two passed just like that. Jhin felt and listened to the sound of her breathing. All was quiet and calm until he felt four gentle taps to his chest, calling for his attention. “Yes, dear?”

Sona looked up at him with a deep blush and signed. “ _I'm so happy…_ ” 

He smirked. For how prim and proper she painted herself she was such a cute little thing once she relaxed. “Are you now? Such a strange girl.”

Her head tilted to the side. “ _Strange_?” 

“You got into bed with a serial killer my dear, one that wants to kill you no less. Now unless of course this is something you make a habit of I'd call that grounds for being a little strange.”

The girl’s cheeks flared up an even deeper red before she pouted and slammed her hand against his chest. “ _I told you you're my first_!” Her hands whipped around, signing with increased aggression as she went on, arguing. All he could do was smile while she went off, laughing to himself and ending her tirade by pressing a gentle kiss to her lips which froze her entirely, melting her back into his arms.

“It’s alright dearest. Despite what I may have...suggested in a few letters, it isn't my business whom you chose to…” he trailed off, clearing his throat. 

She smiled and rubbed her thumb back along his cheek bones, intent, it seemed, on knowing every inch of his face by touch alone. “ _I'm surprised you’ve never had a partner. Surely you had girls seek you out_?”

“Oh a few, I suppose, but my personality doesn't exactly lend itself well to storybook romances or hot blooded affairs. My body count might be a great deal higher if that were the case…” he sighed. 

She frowned then, placing her hand over his heart. He could see the questions in her eyes but she asked none of them. They were spinning in his own head as well, but for now he silently agreed to keep such things unspoken. After a lifetime alone, suddenly he found this girl, whom hours earlier he'd thought only to kill, now acting as the world's strongest magnet. Every bit of him wanted only to hold her close and kiss her at every available opportunity. Though wanting and admitting were surely two different things.

“ _Will you stay_?” she asked, her fingers on her free hand doodling invisible patterns on his skin.. 

Jhin could feel his heart strain in his chest. He shouldn't. If he had an ounce of sense he would get up now and leave, but sense had never had a thing to do with him before and it didn't appear to be starting now. He looked over his shoulder at the orange sky, listened a moment to the sea gulls and the wind chime that held both of their memories in its glass before he laid into her, pressing Sona back to sheets and kissing her. “There’s talk of a storm tomorrow. I am stuck in Demacia until the weather clears.”

A grateful smile spread across her face, offering her response in the embrace she welcomed him back into and how she arched into him when he took hold of her waist again.

* * *

They made love well into nightfall, unable to untangle themselves until they had nothing left. Jhin couldn’t complain. He loved every second of it, quickly finding an addiction in the little noises she could make and how she held him, how she begged for kisses and the way she signed his name. It was later that they found themselves curled back up on the lounge chair by the balcony while rain and lightning poured down on the city. Sona, wrapped up in a robe, leaned her back against Jhin, who sat still relatively undressed save for the underwear he’d put back on. He held her securely at her waist watching another flash take up the sky, feeling Sona jump when the crack of thunder shook the walls.

“Oh that one got you,” he chuckled. 

“ _It got you too_!” She lifted her hands to sign in front of his face. 

“It most certainly did not.”

“ _It most certainly did! I felt you jump_!” 

“Now who’s delusional?” He leaned down, whispering in her ear. 

Sona’s face scrunched up as she twisted in his grasp and poked him in his side, making him flich. “ _You_.”

Jhin immediately fired back, tickling her. “Oh are we fighting dirty now hmm?” 

The girl in his arms squirmed and chirped trying to pry herself away from his attack. “ _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry_!” She signed frantically while she giggled, twisting around further until she could throw her arms around his neck. Jhin chuckled, his arms resuming his hold on her as another few cracks of thunder followed a strike of lightning out on the water. 

“Going to be good now?” 

She nodded against his shoulder, adjusting her legs to lay on him. “ _Promise_ ” she signed.

“That’s my girl,” Jhin hummed into her hair, giving her a tight squeeze. This was so nice, and unlike anything he’d experienced in his life. Despite the years of awful things he’d written her in letters, and the gun he’d pointed at her earlier, here they sat, like lovers. He couldn't let go, he did not want to let go. He did not even want to be on the other side of the room without her in his arms. Everything outside seemed distant and near forgotten. 

Sona’s head lifted away from his shoulder. She always had such an ethereal air about her but with her hair down, and the glow of the oil lamps in between lightning strikes, he wondered how she could be human at all. Those striking golden eyes of hers offered nothing of an argument to the contrary. Slowly, he caressed her cheek, watching how she bent into his touch. The recurring strain in his chest surged as his mouth opened and he stumbled over the start of the sentence. “Sona--Sona I--My dear I--” A frustrated sigh had his head tilting back, pinching the bridge of his nose. Even with his head clear he must sound utterly ridiculous. “One, two, three, four, two, two three four,” he mumbled in an attempt to calm himself. The girl leaned back against him, looping her arms up under his own to tap firmly on his shoulder. A deep and eased exhale that he hadn't felt himself holding passed through him. And just like that he could think again. There wasn't a person alive who could do what she did. Or at least he’d always thought so. That comfort alone had him breathe in deep, trying one last time, this time starting with a kiss. And when he pulled back, speaking just loud enough for her to hear, he whispered “Sona, I love you.” Jhin pulled all the way back then to see the wide eyes of shock on her face. Instantly he spoke again, his words more frantic. “I know how terribly strange that must sound to you. After all I, on any other given day, I would love nothing more than to kill you but in truth I--” 

Sona cut him off. Hushing him with a long and deep kiss that he so eagerly returned. And they kept coming. One after the other she covered his face in kisses, pushing his head back against the armrest. 

“Sona, Sona, darling, Sona, my love, no, I can’t. You're going to kill me if we start that again.” He laughed turning his head away from reach. 

She grabbed his face however and forced it back, kissing his lips once more. “I love you too, Jhin.” 

Those words were not signed however. He heard them. In his head the soft voice of a girl echoed, sending his eyelids ripping open. He pulled away, cradling her face in his hands. “Your voice?”

She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck again, pushing past his hands to bury her face against his skin. “Only those closest to me know my voice. Though I admit it's awfully tiring so I hope you’ll forgive me when I choose to use sign instead.”

Jhin’s mouth hung open, returning her embrace slowly as she spoke. “O-of course my dear…” he said. “But, just once more? May I hear it once more?”

A gentle giggle played between his ears. “I can talk for a little bit, my love. It might make what I would like to show you a bit easier. Let me up a moment?”

Jhin hesitated for a second or two before he finally let go. Sona smiled and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek while she got up and went to retrieve a box on her dresser, bringing it back and setting it on the cushion once he sat up. It was a simple wooden thing but just looking at the wood grain he could tell it was Ionian. The subtle inlaid details of petals seemed to support that.

Sona opened her box revealing a myriad of little things inside, a resin preserved flower, and old necklace that had seen some wear. He also caught sight of two scraps of paper, one with some stray music notes scribbled on it and a doodle of sorts with a few words hastily scratched out. These were gently pushed aside to pull out a stack of folded papers tied together with string. She closed the box then, placing it to the side before untying the papers and taking one off the top and unfolding it. “Do you know what these are?” She asked. Jhin frowned, his eyebrows furrowing. He had more than an educated guess. He recognized his own stationary a mile away. “Don’t make that face my love,” she said. “There is a reason I’ve kept these.” She held the paper up then and began to read it. “Sona, if I could say half of what I’d like then we’d have very different conversations. Maybe there would be a conversation at all. But I don’t feel much like false eloquence today my dear. And trying will make me more the looming horror of a shadow you must see me as for what I’ve done for so long. I’d like to consider this my apology but...well where would there be sense in that…J—“

When she was finished she handed it to him, let him read his own words. “I don't remember writing this,” he said. 

Sona scooted closer again with the rest of the letters in hand. “It’s almost three years old. I'm not surprised. But there are others. Two years ago you sent me a poem.”

“Poetry?” He repeated. “Are you quite sure it's me who wrote these?” He asked, taking the one she held up next, his eyes tracing the lines. His poetry was not something he actually shared with anyone. But undoubtedly it was his handwriting, and even as he read it once then twice, it was clear the man who wrote this was indeed him, but when, where, and why they were written was lost on him. He laughed quietly under his breath before he read it aloud. 

_Where in beauty I find you_

_Is a thought that seeks_

_A strange sort of madness in me._

_Unrecognized, and without definition,_

_I find heaviness in your cords where you_

_Sought light, only_

_Dead weight in my chest and behind_

_My eyes._

_The day I rid us both of the other_

_Is all a man like me could ever want._

_So where in beauty I find you,_

_A fool's quest if one should ever be_

_But in your eyes I saw golden,_

_And if only for a moment_

_There was light._

In the time it took him to read it Sona had latched back on to his arm, resting her head against his shoulder with a bright smile on her face. “I've always wanted to hear you read it,” she said. 

Jhin looked at it a bit longer before putting it aside to bring her back on to his lap. “I remember the first time I saw you my love,” he said. “We passed each other on a busy street. And somehow we caught each other's glance. I had no idea who you were then. That was all the better I’m sure, but I remember being so captivated by your eyes. I can only imagine that is the moment I'm referring to in this,” he explained. “But do you really like it so much? Darling, I'm a well written stalker at best.”

She laughed. “Mmm perhaps but you’ll have to trust me on this one. I've had quite a few stalkers and you're the only one who ever wrote a single honest word. I have 12 letters here and in them I got to know a very different man than the one who wanted me as his next art piece. And now he’s sitting here with me, confessing his feelings and holding me in his arms? Am I supposed to deny that you have heart Khada Jhin?” 

He frowned and shook his head with a sigh. “It would serve you better in the long run, Sona.” 

The smile on her lips saddened some but didn't drop. She brushed his dark hair back with her voice ringing through his head once more. “It’s too late now for me to want it back.” 

He smirked. “Not sure I’m willing to give it back either.” 

“That's that then.” She hummed and took her spot, face buried in the crook of his neck, arms holding tight.

Jhin smiled at the girl curling into him and leaned back again, looking to the storm blowing just past the glass doors. Yes, it would indeed seem that was that. Although…”Darling,” he called. To which he received only a gesture in reply. “About those other stalkers. I don't suppose you could get me their names, or addresses, a physical description perhaps?” 

“Under no circumstances.” 

“Pity…” 

“It's alright, Jhin.” Her voice sounded one last time with light taps to calm him. “Quiet your heart. I'm here with you and you alone.”

Somehow that did calm him. Not just her fingers tapping against his skin but the knowledge that, yes, they were here with each other, no one else. Jhin smiled as his eyes closed, a low and gentle hum leaving his lips as he felt Sona slowly drift off to sleep.

* * *

In the morning Jhin woke up to the sound of thunder. Rain on the windowpane and wind rattling the glass seemed to be a good indication that the storm was not yet passed. Slowly he opened his eyes. After Sona had fallen asleep he’d carried her back to the bed, hugging her back to his chest until he too drifted off. But if he had a shred of honesty in him he wouldn’t have been at all surprised if the whole day had been just something of a dream and he woke up alone in the inn he rented a room at. Reality was apparently willing to give him just a little longer to feel all that this was. Jhin adjusted his hold on her, pressing his face down into her hair. 

In his arms he felt Sona start to stir, making little chirps and squeaks as she woke up. How precious she was. Jhin felt her put her hand over his and for a moment thought she might pull away only to feel her turn around in his grasp and press her face to his chest. Jhin’s left hand adjusted, let go of her waist to brush through her hair, his face leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

The hand on his chest lifted, feeling it next on his cheek. Jhin opened his eyes and met her half lidded stare, barely awake if the long blinks were much to go on. He smirked. “Good morning darling,” he whispered, shifting her up closer to him to give her a kiss that lingered for a moment or two. When they parted Sona’s eyes closed again and she pressed her face back to his neck.“Not a morning person hmm?” 

Her response was less of a sign and more a hand wave that said shut up. Jhin chuckled and gave her a tight squeeze. 

“Let me up for a minute dear,” he said, brushing through her hair gently. 

Despite a moment of hesitance she allowed it, letting go and accepting the pillow under his head as a fair trade, at least for now. Jhin stretched out his back as he walked across the white stone floor towards the bathroom. Her bathroom like nearly all of her home was white. White counter, floors, walls, all carved out of pure white marble. A touch of daylight was all it took for everything to have a soft glow. It was striking, like her, but it was her small personal touches he took notice of now. The well-used bar of honey soap by the washcloth, the small painted pot with a flower nearing bloom on the window, the towel strung over the changing screen that had seen years of use, and a hairbrush, full of her hair in its bristles. These were the things that made this place hers. And it spoke more to who she actually was rather than that shell she stood as on stage. 

Jhin went to the sink, reaching for the faucet. He’d been outside Ionia enough to not be amazed so much by running water anymore but he had to admit it still took a moment to reach for a handle instead of a bucket. Jhin leaned into the basin and splashed water on his face, working the water back through his hair to get it at least partially back in place. 

When he stood back up straight his reflection in the mirror greeted him. For a moment he didn't recognize himself. The subtle smile on his face wasn't one he put there. It was there without any conscious thought or effort. A strange thing. It might have bothered him if out of the corner of his eye he hadn’t seen Sona stumbling up to him, throwing her arms around his waist and pressing her face into his back. 

“Are we sleepwalking now my love?” He asked, looking over his shoulder.

Sona shook her head, signing for him to see in the mirror. “ _I’ll be more awake once we take a shower_.” 

Jhin smirked. “Is that your subtle way of asking me to shower with you Miss Sona? My, we are certainly making quite the scandal for you aren’t we.” 

The girl answered by taking hold of one of his arms and dragging him to the glass stall, opening the door and reaching for the lever to start the water. This was another thing that had captivated Jhin the first time he saw it. Truth be told he’d dismantled quite a number of showers to understand exactly how they worked. The mechanics of indoor plumbing were certainly a thing to behold, but his attention was far from that today. His focus remained entirely on the girl in front of him as she undid her robe and let it sink off her shoulders, hanging it on the wall. Jhin could feel heat rising on his cheeks. He’d seen every bit of her yesterday, learned her body from head to toe, but still it made his stomach feel light the moment she pulled her nearly floor length hair over her shoulder. 

Jhin stripped out of what little clothing he’d put back on last night and stepped in after her, leaning his head into the water, closing his eyes as water streamed down his face. A deep and relaxed sigh left him, his left hand slicking back his hair. He felt her hand again then, a gentle touch on his cheek. He opened his eyes to see Sona, her own wet hair brushed back, her eyes finally open and that sweet smile of hers on her face. “Awake now?” He asked, not trying to fight his own smile returning. 

“ _Yes, I’m a bit sleepy in the mornings. A hot shower usually does the trick_.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, pulling her to him for a moment. Sona’s arms reached up, trying her best to loop around his neck. “Can’t reach?” 

“ _Lean down_ ,” she signed, lifting up on her toes, trying to get to him herself.

“If you want a kiss you’re going to have to jump.” 

Sona reached up and tugged on his face. “ _Are we back to being mouthy now, Khada, Jhin_?” she signed with her free hand. 

The smirk on his face broadened as he leaned in closer. “Are you forgetting who you’re in love with.” 

A smirk of her own quirked across her face. “ _No, darling, I have not_.” 

“Hmm then come here,” he said, closing the gap and giving her the kiss she wanted. It wasn’t quick, but he pulled back before he went through with the urge to lift her up off her feet and press her to the tile wall. “Let me do your hair, my love.” 

Sona nodded and reached for a glass bottle of shampoo and handed it to him before she turned around and Jhin got to work. “Do you like my hair, Jhin?” Her voice echoed in his head like it had the night before. It caught him off guard slightly, although perhaps not as severely as the night before. 

“Yes, my dear. Your hair is beautiful, I’d never seen such a lovely color before,” he said, working through her long hair.

* * *

Jhin had always presented himself to her as careful and thorough in all he did. Whether it was his attempts to kill her, the hours they'd spent making love yesterday, or him washing her hair, he took his time. Sona didn't mind. His touch was gentle and showering with him proved very relaxing. She also didn't mind watching when he did his own hair. Using the moment to disguise another touch behind the bar of soap in her hand, washing his skin clean and then pressing her face against his chest when she was done. 

After their shower, he continued, insisting she let him do her hair. She didn't protest with that either. He could do as he liked so long as she was able to watch that focused intensity of his as he combed through hair. 

Once he seemed happy with how it was parted the rest was easy. He combed through it until every knot and snarl was gone and then ran his hand along the back of her head, smiling down at her. “There. How’s this dear?” He asked, placing his hands on her shoulders. 

Sona turned her head side to side. It was just like she did it but smoother. Her hair flowed around her, and seemed to shine brighter. He hadn't done anything special, but maybe it was the extra time he’d put into it. Sona turned around and smiled, signing, “ _I love it Jhin_.” She stood up and ran her hand along his cheek. “ _Let's get dressed, darling, then we can go downstairs and do something about breakfast_.” Sona went next to her closet, settling instantly on a dress and pulling it down, returning to her bedroom where Jhin was doing up his pants. “I’m sorry I don't have anything that I can give you to wear darling,” she said. “I don't exactly have any shirts you would like and unless you're interested in wearing a dress…” 

Jhin chuckled as he pulled on his shirt, smoothing it out once he'd done up the buttons. “My love, are you suggesting I would not look amazing in your clothes?” He teased. 

She laughed, her shoulders rising and falling as she turned and signed. “ _Silly me_. _Though you might be missing some things…_ ” she drew a circle in the air around her chest. 

“Fair point…” 

She giggled again silently behind her hand, then turning back and letting her towel fall around her before she slid the dress over her shoulders. It was Ionian. She had few of them, things that she had bought when her mother brought her back one year to do a performance for the adoption house she had once known as home. This one was shorter, going just above her knees, and two layers of blue and white.

“Do you need help with the back my dear?” 

“ _Oh, yes, if you don't mind_.”

His hands touched gently to her back, first straightening out the collar and then tying the sash, his hands smoothing out fabric as he went. “Perfect,” he said, turning her around and stepping back, a pleased smile on his face like he was admiring artwork. It brought pink rising back to her cheeks. “You look stunning in Ionian dress, my love.” 

“ _Perhaps I’ll start wearing it more then_ ,” she signed and took his hand, leading him out of the room. “ _Now should I assume you’ve already seen the rest of my home or shall I give you the tour later_?”

He squeezed her hand laughing with a slight sad edge to it. “I would love the tour later.” 

Sona let go of his hand, instead taking his arm as they walked down the stairs and rounded the corner into the kitchen. She let go then to go to the icebox, tugging it open by the handle with a hand on her hip. “ _I don't have much and with the storm…_ ” her signs trailed off. 

Jhin stepped beside her and peered inside. “Well here you’ve got a whole fish, and here,” he reached in grabbing the fish and then two eggs from a basket above the ice box. “And,” he went then to the counter. “You've got a bag of rice right here, this plenty to make breakfast,” he said with a smile. 

Sona felt heat rising to her cheeks again, her hands hesitantly signing. “ _I’m not the best cook…_ ” 

The smile on his face only brightened, his arm looping around her and bringing her to his side. “Not to worry, my dearest. I can teach you.”

That brought her own smile back, her head leaning for a moment to his shoulder. “ _Show me_.”

“Alright, first tell me where you keep all your cookware.”

* * *

Slowly they gathered what they needed to cook. It became clear to Jhin that Sona didn’t cook much at all. Her utensils were mostly untouched. He sometimes found things before she did. It didn’t surprise him after enough thought. This was a girl who knew first only an orphanage in a town that struggled with poverty especially after the war. She’d gone from that to nobility by adoption essentially overnight. The fact that she lived on her own with a few posted guards was something of a surprise to him when he’d first begun his research. However she’d managed this touch of privacy aside this girl had never had the chance to learn any of this. Her musical genius was all that could be attributed to her. For him, a man that had been forced to learn anything and everything that was demanded of him, and his own tangle of thoughts demanding it be done to perfection, it was sad. All his preconceived notions of her fell away minute by minute revealing a lonely girl who had never been given a chance to be anything more than what he cursed her for. How wrong he’d been. No better surely than the people who flocked to her. It made his heart hurt. This, this here where they could cook together was the very least he could do in some vain sort of atonement.

“ _What do we do first_?” she asked once they had gathered everything.

“Well,” he started, pouring out the rice into the stone pot. “Let’s wash this rice and then I’ll show you how to cut up that fish.”

She nodded and brought the pot to the sink, handling it just fine before she placed it on the wood stove. “Darling should I light the stove?” she asked.

“Yes, go ahead my love. Then come here so I can show you how to handle the fish.” He waved her back. He heard the sound of the striking matches and the faint smell of wood starting to burn before she was back at his side. “Now then…” He stepped behind her, his hand on her shoulders. “Take your knife,” he instructed.

“Wait weren’t you going to show me?” she turned, her voice echoing in his head with an edge of nervousness.

He smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you, but you’ll remember more if you do it yourself. Also the knife is…” he trailed off, not particularly wanting to finish that sentence despite it continuing in thought. Sona reached behind her and took his hand for a moment, tapping four times against his palm. That made him smile. She’d figured that one out quick. “Thank you dearest,” he whispered and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Now then take the knife.”

Sona reached for the knife they’d laid out, her pointer finger extended along the top of the blade. “Okay.”

Jhin reached then and took the hand grasping the knife, mimicking how she held it with his own. “Tuck this finger in or you might lose it.” He instructed and watched her correct it. “There now, take the fish.” With his other hand he took hers and pressed it to the head of the fish that was laying upside down. “Angle your knife and start scraping against the scales to remove them.” He removed his hand then and let her go through the first few motions. “Yes, like that. Don’t be afraid to move the fish around when you’re getting the scales off.”

Sona followed his instructions, adjusting the fish as she went and then turning it around doing the other side. “And next?” She asked, turning her head up to look back at him.

“Next center the fish again and take the knife and you’re going to make one long cut along the collar just down past the fin here,” he said, taking her hand again and holding it in position.

Sona nodded. Her eyebrows furrowing in focus as she did as instructed.

“Now start at the head and start cutting back along the spine.”

She followed the line he’d traced for her with only a few snags before her gaze returned once again to his face awaiting the next step.

“And from here you’re going to continue to push down against the ribs and follow it to just below this fin here and then come up to finish it off. Any farther and you puncture organs and you don’t want that smell in your house at this hour. Believe me.”

Sona’s shoulders lifted with a silent giggle before she followed his next set of instructions and finished the fillet. “Done!” she exclaimed.

Jhin smiled. She’d done remarkably well for a first attempt. She was quick study it seemed. That was a trait that likely did her a world of good. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Wonderfully done my dear. Think you can handle the other side while I start the egg mixture?”

Sona nodded and stood on her toes a moment to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “Yes, love, thank you.”

Jhin stepped away then to another section of the counter and started cracking eggs into a bowl, and mixing it with a fork. “So how does a girl that doesn’t cook end up with a whole fish in her icebox?” he asked with a light laugh.

“Oh my friend was going to come over and we were going to burn it together,” she said, her laugh echoing in his head. “Neither of us know a thing about cooking but we keep saying we’re going to learn and nothing usually comes our too well. Mother keeps insisting I just take a few of her servants but…”

“Like your privacy too much?”

She nodded. “Having people that work for me in here makes me nervous. It’s dangerous given my talents and what not. I’d never be able to relax with people like that looking to cater to me.”

Jhin listened as she spoke. It made sense. Where was there room for a mage to relax in this city if not for her own home? How terribly claustrophobic it sounded.

“Do you miss Ionia?” he asked, his tone sounding a touch more leading than he’d like.

“Demacia is my home now,” she said with a sigh. “But I miss the festivals, the fireworks, the sprawling hills. Here is so cramped and—” her sentence suddenly came to a grinding halt her echoing voice replaced with a small squeak and the sound of the knife hitting the cutting board.

“Sona?” Jhin turned around and saw her holding her left hand.

“My hand slipped…”

Jhin left his preparation, going instantly to her side to take her hand. She’d gotten the top of her left pointer finger. Blood bloomed to the top of the cut, spreading to the grooves of her skin and then formed a drop that he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes from. What a lovely color she held in her…

And then he blinked, grabbed for a cloth by the sink and pressed it to the injury. “J-just a scratch my love. Forgive me for distracting you.” he cleared his throat and gave a light shake of his head. Red suited her. Of course it ought to. It’s what he wanted her painted in. Yes, this dress of hers. How lovely that would be, his red clad love in his arms for a dance just them two. “You’ve got to be careful too. You don’t want to go losing a finger now do you? What would you do then without that music of yours hmm?” Jhin’s head lifted to her wide eyed stare up at him. Her radiant golden irises trembled ever so slightly. That made him smile. “What is it my darling? _Does it hurt_?”

“Jhin,” she said. “Do you want to hurt me right now?”

His jaw tightened. Something between a grimace and the remains of that smirk slowly cracking across his face. “I,” he started barely able to get through the first word without laughing. “I’ve _never_ dreamt of hurting you my dear Sona. Not once.” He breathed in sharp, the grip on her hand tightening.

Sona’s lips parted and in an instant she pulled his face down towards her. “Do you want to fight it?”

The smile on his face shivered, a mix of rage and utter despair bubbling up in his chest. Jhin’s eyes closed, his free hand gripping her waist. He did. He didn’t. He wanted to carve flowers into her skin. He wanted to kiss her and beg for her to make it stop. He wanted her to pay for trying _fix_ something that wasn’t broken. He wanted a life time of nights like the last one. None of this was said. Jhin grit his teeth, the only thing he managed was her name and four barely noticeable taps against her lower back.

* * *

Sona didn’t wait another moment. If he wanted to fight she wouldn’t rest until his thoughts were clear again. She took him by the arm and dragged him out of the kitchen and down the main hall until they entered her study. It was bright and light like everywhere else in her home but held a few dark wood bookshelves, a piano, and of course Etwahl. Sona sat down on couch by her book shelves and brought him with her, laying him down, resting his head on her lap before her hand reached out and without even the conscious call her instrument crossed the room to her. Jhin glared up at her, his jaw looked strained under pressure. There was hate and disgust in his eyes shifting to fear, and pain, cycling through again and again. How terribly it must hurt. Sona ran her hand along his face which made the pain twist more into his features. She had a feeling he could barely see her anymore. She pulled her hand away and reached up to Etwahl. “My love, close your eyes now. Close your eyes and don’t open them until it passes,” she instructed, covering his eyes with her free hand until she felt his eyelashes against her palm. He breathed in and held it, his eyebrows furrowed as she started pulling at the strings of her instrument. In an instant the room seemed to brighten with sound, a soft melody floating through the air. The reaction from the man lying on her was instant but unlike the time before it was not immediately positive. The pained expression twisted further. His breathes came out hard and strained as his body tensed. She couldn’t do what she did last time. It had been too mind numbing. If he was going to heal it would have to be gradual. And it would hurt.

And hurt it did. It had to of. Nearly a half hour of music passed before Jhin began to settle. His breathing eased back and some of the tension released. A demon he may not be but his compulsions may as well haunt him as one. Slowly like exorcising evil he was brought back to her. Even as he opened his eyes, tears streaming down the wide of his face she continued. She played until the gasps for air and tears stopped and he laid there calmly. Only then taking her hands away and stroking his face, brushing sweat and tears from under his eyes. “You did well my love. It’s alright now.”

Jhin eyes looked up at her from the side and took one of her hands, pressing his lips against it before holding it to his chest. “Forgive me my darling,” he whispered.

Sona smiled and brought her free hand to her chest, signing. “ _It’s okay, Jhin. How does your head feel now_?”

“Clear,” he said. “But different.”

“Healing won’t be instant my love. It will take time. The last time I was too heavy handed. It will get easier, slowly.”

He closed his eyes again, pressing his face against her stomach. “Did I hurt you?”

Sona shook her head and leaned down, pressing a kiss to his head. “No, you didn’t. I’m ok. Just a scratch. But it would be wise to keep you away from blood it seems.”

He offered only a nod at first, just staring at her. “You look so beautiful,” he whispered.

Her shoulders lifted in a giggle. “Do I?”

He nodded again, squeezing her hand tighter. “Radiant.”

Sona felt a soft blush rise to her cheeks. He truly couldn’t see her when he was sick. It was horrible, and even with a touch of morbid curiosity she dared not ask how exactly she appeared to him then, not under risk of bringing his demons back. Jhin slowly started to sit up, glancing around the room.

“ _You can rest a little longer if you need to, darling_ ,” she signed.

Jhin smiled and held his arms out. Sona was more than willing to accept the invitation, pressing her head to his chest. Seeing him change so suddenly had not been lost on her. It was a sobering reminder of what the man she loved was capable of but she was certain that if he would stay she could help. And she would do all that she could so that he could remain at peace.

* * *

Jhin tried his best to put his slip up out of mind as the day wore on, choosing to focus on making Sona breakfast, giving her hugs and kisses, letting every word she passed through his head linger, but like a splinter it stayed in the back of his mind. He could have killed her. He had wanted to. Through sheer will he fought off his compulsions long enough for her to help him, but it had been draining on the both of them. Somewhere in the night before and earlier in the morning he’d nearly convinced himself that he could stay with her, give Ionia up and live a life with her. He’d done crazier things for certain. But now...he understood. The day he killed her was a ticking time bomb. One accidental trip into a trigger and her blood on his hands would be the only thing he had left of her. He couldn’t stay. But leaving, he wasn’t sure how to do that either. She didn’t let go. Neither did he. He refused. In his arms, reading a book with her on her couch he was so happy. There was no place to pull away, to give up. So the day lingered on and they spent most of it in her study, watching the storm rage, being grateful that it did.

“My love, can you play the piano?” he asked in the late afternoon, his eyes falling to dark wooden grand piano sitting in the corner for certainly not the first time that day.

“ _Well yes. Mother insisted on me learning a variety of instruments but Etwahl is special of course_ ,” she signed. “ _That piano there was a gift from my friend’s family after an especially big performance. I don’t play it much unfortunately. Do you play love_?”

“Yes, I do. I taught myself when I was younger,” he said. “Do you mind?” he asked.

“ _No of course not, I’d love to hear you play_!”

Jhin smiled and got up, bringing her with him as they sat down on the bench and Jhin reached for the keys, playing a few quick notes, a test of sound. A smile instantly spread across the girl’s face and Jhin couldn’t help but show off for a quick second, playing something unnecessarily complicated just to make her laugh. “ _Well now I’m impressed_ ,” she signed with that bright smile on her face.

Jhin laughed before he started playing a bit more seriously. It only took the first note for the look on his love’s face to change. Surprise and then a gentle smile. “This song,” her voiced sounded in his head. “I played it yesterday,”

“I never thought I’d hear it again, my dear. I remember my mother used to let me sit with her later in the evening and would sing this song for me,” he said. “I don’t remember the words anymore but I could never forget how she played it,” she said. “And when you played it yesterday I couldn’t help but think of her, think of that village you and I once called home.”

Sona leaned her head against his shoulder. “I wasn’t sure my magic would work. I…I thought you were going to kill me and I thought if I was going to die I wanted my last thought to be of where I was born, hope I could return there in spirit.”

He paused mid press on the keys, his face saddening. “This song saved us both then,” he said and kept playing. His chest felt strained again.

“Do not worry my love,” she reached up and ran a hand through his hair, a soothing four passes calming that pain in his chest. “If this song calms you I will play it for you as much as you like.”

A sad smile worked across his face. “Thank you darling,”

“But you know I do remember the words to this song,” she said, tracing again behind his ear.

The touch made his smile more genuine with that slight edge to it. “Sing for me.”

The girl’s next sentence came out as a stutter between his ears. “D-darling I don’t sing. I’ve never, I can’t!” she argued.

“Hmm? But I can hear you just fine my darling. Sing for me,” he said again, looking down at her at her blushing face.

Sona’s face was reddening by the second but she didn’t argue further. She sat up straight and gripped the fabric of her dress before her eyes closed and she breathed in and then in his head he heard her voice again, this time in that beautiful dialect of their home region, singing the words he’d forgotten until now. How lovely. He couldn’t remember it ever sounding so beautiful even when his mother had sung it for him. Jhin played for her through the whole thing, his notes trailing off when she was finished.

He looked to her, the blush still on her cheeks as she looked down. Jhin reached for her face, directing it up to him. “Truly you are the very essence of perfection, my darling,” he whispered.

“Jhin…”

“Kiss me.”

Unlike his previous request she didn’t hesitate, throwing her arms around his neck in the same moment that his found her waist, holding her close. Jhin didn’t wait for her instructions this time, choosing to lift her up into his arms and carry her from the room and back upstairs. She busied herself the whole ride with pressing kisses to his jaw and neck, giggling in in his head at his playful pecks back.

In her room Jhin tossed her on to her bed, throwing himself after her, into her open arms and kissing her. “Sona, darling,” he whispered, his hand caressing her cheek when the other pulled her dress off her shoulders.

“Jhin, I love you.”

“Then,” he said, his hands helping her legs up around his waist. “Say it again.”

“And then two more times after,” she replied.

“That’s my girl.”

* * *

The evening came like the previous one, with Jhin making love to the girl he adored until they could hardly move anymore. She was a magnet, and she was his. For a few more hours he could fool himself into believing it could last. But the storm came to end shortly after leaving them both staring at the window with the time bomb of what to do strapped in their chests. Jhin chose for at least a little longer, to keep sheets over them and the girl close. Anything else was something he couldn’t bear to speak out loud.

“Jhin, darling,” she said, calling for him as they lay side by side.

“Yes my love?”

“You can stay. Or rather, I…I want you to stay. I don’t care how long it takes I’ll help you fight your compulsions. And I, I want to be with you. We could leave the city,” she suggested. “Or you can come with me whenever I travel. It may never be easy, but I don’t want you to go.”

Jhin listened to her plea without interruption, only pulling her close when he could start to hear a crack in that voice in his head.

“Sona,” he started. “I want to be with you. I’ve never been this happy in my life. But I cannot stay.”

“Why not?” She looked up at his taking his face in her hands as her eyes searched his. “Jhin you don’t have to go back.”

“Sona what are you going to tell your mother when she comes back from her trip tomorrow and you introduce her to the Ionian man you’re in love with but have never spoken about until now? What will you tell your guards when they come to wake you for your show in the morning and find you in bed with a man? What are you going to tell your friend Lux, the rest of your family, your country? You are a woman of stature and having an affair with a foreign man would put both of us in a sort of spotlight that given one wrong step, one slip up, would result in horrors you know I’m capable off.”

“I will write to my mother tell her that I met you some time ago but didn’t want to speak up until I was sure. I will do everything I can to protect you, Jhin please!” she begged, a few tears slipping down her cheeks.

“Even if you do and we get the chance at a peaceful life what will we do when my government comes to track me down? Darling what if I slip one day and you can’t help me in time and I kill you? Do you love me enough to negotiate my freedom and risk blood on your hands for the chance that one day yours will be on mine?”

She’d gone quiet now. The voice in his head gone as she sobbed into his shoulder, clinging to him. Jhin rubbed her back and kissed the side of her head. “I want it too my love. I want this to continue and never stop but I’ve never known anything like this. And quite frankly I’m terrified. I don’t want to see you killed by my government because you won’t let me go and after how many time I’ve told you I love you the thought of causing you any sort of harm is too horrifying a risk.”

“One more night,” her broken, voice demanded. “Just let me have one more night.”

Jhin pushed back for a moment to look at her. Her face was puffy and streaked with red from her tears. It broke his heart to see it. “I’ll stay dear. Just tonight. At first light I’m going to the docks to get back to Ionia, but Sona, dearest look at me.”

She did, wiping tears from her eyes that were just as quickly replaced.

“I’ll come back to you.”

She shook her head, signing firmly. “ _How do you know?_ ”

He smirked. “You think I’ll ever let the girl who tried to fix me go?”

That brought a small smile to her face. “I’ll be waiting for you to hold me at gun point then.”

He laughed with a smile on his face though it was more than a little strained. “No more tears my darling,”

Sona nodded and pressed his her face back against his chest and Jhin took up running his hand through her long hair the smile falling off his face completely. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to leave come morning. But every single thing he’d said was true. Simply throwing away their lives over whatever pulled them to each other was crazy, reckless. Maybe if he were a bit younger it wouldn’t sound so, but perhaps a younger him wouldn’t have hesitated when he was supposed to pull the trigger. Whatever the case it was past discussion. There was no choice. He was leaving in the morning.

Jhin kissed the top of her head again, letting the only love he’d likely ever know snuggle in close. If only he thought. If only the storm had given them just a little more time.

* * *

Come morning Jhin woke up early. As if everything in his body demanded he stay true to his word. Sona faced away from him, her back pressed gently against his chest. Jhin leaned down and pressed a kiss to her shoulder, her skin cool from the morning sea air blowing in through a cracked window.

She squeaked softly at the kisses he left of her cheek and back of her head, but didn’t stir any further, something he was grateful for. This was his goodbye and if he could he wanted to keep it to himself. “I love you so very much Sona,” he whispered, one last kiss on her sleeping face, before he pulled away and went to gather his clothes pulling them back on silently, going to the shelf where he had placed his mask. The first sight of it in two days made him feel ill, but now certainly it was too late to turn back. He attached the mask to his side and slipped the black one with it, turning then to the still sleeping girl in the bed. Not yet, just one more thing, he told himself, going to a desk she had shoved in the corner, taking her ink bottle and a pen with a sheet of paper from a stack. Slowly, in their native language he wrote a single sentence, folding it and bringing it back to her bedside where he left it sitting on the table for her to see when she woke. He could spare no more time then, he had to get back to the inn and grab his things before he made for the docks and the kiss he wanted to give her would ensure he never would. Jhin made for the balcony door, looking back only once repeating his own words “Wait for me…” before he was over the railing and gone in the first lights of the dawn.

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the result of two and a half months of plague induced writing. This has become a project of love and devotion to these two character in an effort to give them some happiness Jesus Christ...  
> I intend to do more with this universe but that will be later down the road after I finish a few other things. I hope you enjoyed and you can find me on twitter @stringsnbullets if you wanna hear me scream about Jhin and Sona at all hours.  
> Thanks for reading!!  
> \--Ryo


End file.
